And among the blood the liver

A fire that I did not put there 

I put all my organs into your hands 

And you did not collapse them

_Vulnerability 

Bitterness can start like an ant 

But gets into the bone 

Those small pen strokes can turn into a gallery over night if you don't care for them erase them tell them what you want from them 

__it can take a year 

your freedom is painful 

Yesterday it made me sick even in my fingernails 

Let me clarify 

It is not because we do not want you to be free 

It is because we know this will hurt all of you and it will take the oxygen out of the air for the rest of us

__holding our breath til it happens again 

I am not sure you know how to feed yourself anymore 

And you have told us you need no medication 

You need medication like you need bread but

Your brain no longer recognizes a spoon 

to watch you starve 

Keeps me up at night 

__leaving the psych ward 

__is this how God feels when we tell Him he's wrong 

I left my Azalea bush for two nights 

It went unwatered only that long 

And when I came home all of its petals looked like soggy paper 

Downcast and limp

Wilted 

Do not tell me that God did not make some of us to need water every day

And some to only need it once a month

Our root systems are different you know

And your hard exterior does not make you better prettier or stronger 

Some plants need no sun

Some need full sun and moist soil everyday 

It was his plan you know to make everyone different 

And I beg your pardon but

Who told you it was okay for you to tell a plant you plan on making it stronger and better by starving it of all of the gentleness softness and sweetness that can make it live 

I wilt without full sun And moist roots

And I have spent too long being ashamed

Scalp massage

With this 

I try to remove the ladders 

from your head

The ones you've been climbing

Sleepless 

Show me God

How to in this

Reflect you

When it is

The opposite

I want to do. 

_the truth of the matter

You are like the

Loose strands of a braid 

The embrace of a lilac

A faucet barely running 

Freshly cut herbs 

It might be easy to find your own flaw

The curve of your shoulders or what you might think 

A tongue too still but

_Are you aware of your gold 

The antelope of his voice 

The quick there is not much time 

There is wind and heavy loads

But I wanted your voice

The on top of the mountain

Part of his voice 

_it is what brought me down the aisle

The story fell

Like large camels from her tongue

Smoke snaked around 

And into

Our hair 

And while I hugged her 

She shook 

It is a hard thing to be swept up by a man 

To be willing to change your shape to make him more yours

This man

raw and violent

Soft and destroyed 

All in the same room

The smell of his alcohol 

His hands 

Bringing back all of the memories 

That took her childhood and broke her into the hummingbird 

We know her to be 

__a hummingbird is dainty but no one knows she can put a mountain in a sea if she put her mind to it