angel party

maybe it was just God sitting up there with his wooly white beard on his throne surrounded by sapphire
maybe he was the only one that knew that this night was not going to be a normal night

D, the professor, pastor extrodanair (can you just spell that one out? I dont know how to spell it, i tried, i was homeschooled) talked about Revelations. a book i know so little about. and it was so good, he put some perspective out there with his pacing, his uneven tone, his pictures

he asked us if we had ever asked the question, "am I the antichrist?" and if we hadn't asked that, he asked us to ask, am i at all anti Christ? What in my life is not PRO CHRIST

he talked about how there was a people in bible times, (I wish I could spell the name of them), who, to avoid death and persecution chose in their hearts to "remain Christians" and yet on the outside live in a way, speak in a way, act in a way that no one would know so that they had to pay no consequence for their Christianity

and after, when he was done preaching, when we huddled into the back room, M laid on the floor with her hand up waiting for attention, and wanted to ask as soon as she could, even before the rest of us were all seated. Her long hair sprawled out behind her, her countenance seemingly calm, inside alarms going off

"how do I know if I am anti- Christ? How do I know if I am a  Christian?"


I was amazed at how when I asked the girls "how can you be saved" they gave generic answers about doing certain things to be a Christian instead of once mentioning faith or Jesus taking all their sins

Even C, Even L asked "how do I know if I actually have Jesus?"
one sitting straight in her rocking chair, not a word until this, not a movement, not a sound
absorbing all this Jesus talk as if their life depended on it (it does)

L, calmly on her knees, hair falling curly over her shoulders, absorbing all this Jesus talk as if her life depended on it (it does)

and then when we offered to pray over them, for them to repeat it
they asked "can we do this at home? Can we ask Jesus into our hearts when we are alone? and how do we do it?"

Oh, and the journey has just begun... this growing into the gospel
this trying to climb a mountain to understand the love he has for us
when we will never get to the top
we will never understand
it is too large
(Even if the mountains fall into the sea, his love will never fail us)

but the gospel will change them as they learn it
as they learn what it means to be loved no matter what and then to pour out the same kind of love right back onto others

oh it has just begun
and we have 10 seventh graders
who are eager and ready and willing
and I feel so blessed to walk next to them in this.

As I prayed M's eyes began to spill.
and when we were done she was so worried about looking as if she had cried

I want to tell the world that she did
because last night, the angels had a large party of praise about all of this
I am sure of it.