To put all of your skin onto a canvas 

The color of your blood

The lion of your lung 

Fawn of your pupil

__vulnerability

You 

Soft like lace 

With the spirit of electricity 

They say that yellow first attracts the eye

When people leave your house 

You have painted all of their skin with it

It is the loudest 

Most unsettling noise 

_to be too busy

To be an artist 

Without rest 

In your own home 

_your body

Father's Day

"I'm so sorry"

You mention

And hold up your hands

They are shaking 

There are pills full of water 

Collecting in your eyes 

And out pours all of it 

The violent hurt of a father 

you cannot celebrate on a day you should be able to 

The man you almost loved surrounding all four sides of you at the church water fountain 

A man your daughter almost called father 

And a divorce from a man who

Left you alone with Emma

You apologize over and over again to us

While we watch the trauma in your fingertips  

_no apology necessary 

"I'm over here "

He called out to the cops as they 

With their guns at their hips like soldiers circled the garage 

She was going to leave him 

Because recently his behavior was different 

She had taken a few strokes across the face and wasn't about to take more 

Slowly she would take the boxes she told him

Maybe it was his slow attempt to push her away because he had a gun rattling for his attention on a drawer somewhere

"It wasn't because she was going to leave me" he had stated in the letter 

And on Facebook it says in his status that he loves wood, and Cindy

She could hear the gunshots from where they had put her in the back of the police car And he requested to not be remembered at all 

Cremation

No gravestone 

No funeral 

I was probably mixing my Mac and cheese over Lindsey's stove when it happened or taking in air as I slept 

And his spirit was leaving his body 

Cindys hands pressed to her face 

_You can never save a man he must resolve it himself 

"I was raped last night"

She said rather carelessly 

And then pressed the matter in

Like an iron on a white crisp shirt 

By glancing up right into my eye 

slung her leg around

Propped the plastic part on the metal footrest and told me she wanted to be platinum 

She sucked tea into her esophagus 

While telling me about the chronic headaches 

And I found a large arch of a scar along the right side of the back of her head 

Where the tumor came out 

Hatred of yourself will not be punishment enough 

It can't pay for all that you've done or the things your breathed under breath and into the air

But 

He has taken the razor to his wrist (nails to his hands) for you

So that despite your flaws my flaws 

we have no flaws 

_you have no flaws in my eyes either 

I wish you knew that I don't want you to be hurting 

Or drinking your way out of feeling 

I think you should flood the house with grief if that is what you need 

And recover when your organs have emptied themselves of him 

Someday he will simply be a pasture you once walked through in a storm 

_ive been there 

The Forrest in you 

Has syrup in all of its trees 

I recognize it under your eyes 

See it laced in each of its sentences 

he has not found it

he probably never will 

& you will be tapped dry

_run

You are sharp like a pearl 

No one would understand this unless they shook your hand and tasted the softness

And vigor 

All at once 

_passion

Ally Suzer

i remember the waiting in your home
my mind was a beesnest
your home
a haven
the fan blew in peace every night and I relearned how to sleep

we slept so close to each other
you slowly became that sister I had always asked my mother for

you with braces and a torso that fit my cotton

i remember the long drive way
muffins at doorways
the long cast of the lawn and Kirt who kept it
the man who was a hermit with the home crowded with lamplight
and the old lady who dropped off ornaments and lived verses
the time I made cake out of black beans
my mind awake with confusion 
found a tiny drug of love in your family

you were a child then
and i was growing out of one

and now you sit here 
your hair falling over your shoulders
your arms long like your legs
all of you coming to a soft placed called

_woman

i watch the two of you
tall like twigs
become a tree

you make him unafraid of Grand Rapids
or of the tiny fires planted in him


_partner

W

Wesley,

You and your wife have grown on me

Her with her timely straight sentences and interior design sense
the way she always makes me feel like i'm by a fireplace

and you with vigor say every word like liquor

Carefully I've taken the top of your hair to finger length and hers to honey

I'm fond of you and your cussing

Cigarette breath

The half empty cup of coffee you always leave in the eating room 

The bark on your chin and the curve of your back from the surgeries and age 

Yesterday

With a twenty dollar bill and hug you said goodbye 

And Oceans Springs will take you like oceans do

You remind me of bark 

Be aware that the quiet of her 

Does not equal boring 

A fire only whispers 

And does all the damage you can imagine 

He took the knife and carefully slid it across his bicep 

The blood climbed out of the skin 

Quick and with long legs 

It felt a little like alcohol 

_and a bit more like breathing 

You

A lightbulb

Full with firefly 

You have the leather of a

Peony pedal 

And the blood of strawberries 

_Kylie, happy birthday.