__how to resolve an argument when it's not a big deal and your both just hungry really

I step out of the car 

We've already had our eggs and sausage and coffee and he goes to pinch a loaf 

I'm in charge of the car so I gather everything 

A crowd of asians gather near the sand talking about how it's not sandy here,

How the bottom is rocky 

And then they go off in their dialect 

I act very local 

Walking past them without reserve 

Carefully stepping over sand with glass in it 

Positioning myself next to Dolly Parten 

(I'm serious, it might be her) 

She's wearing a headband to cover up her blonde fake extensions and 

She's wearing a purple bathing suit with tassels 

Lots of lipstick and Botox 

She gathers herself and moves

Into the sun where everyone must pass her to notice and where she can do the most damage to her skin 

"Your paintings are lovely sweetheart" (I might be adding the sweetheart part, it seems like something Dolly would say) " I was an art major in college, I used to love going to the zoo to draw animals, have you ever done that sweetheart?" I tell her no. Sometimes I'm not nice to strangers. I'm trying. I hate small talk... it makes my cheeks hurt. 

Anyway, 

He comes back 

The bathrooms were locked 

He chooses a teal 

Shorter board for his surf today

And steals my hair band to put his hair in a low poneytail 

He announced earlier today 

How attractive the waves are as we drove past the cows

I love this about him 

The preoccupation

The hobby 

His zest for the waves in a way I understand but a different form 

He uses them Under his body

I use them their shape their form their voice 

For paper 

For 

Words, paint 

Two dogs wander by looking lost and without owners 

But collared 

One with her utters looking full and inflamed as if she has just had children 

/// 

I feel a little out of control when I cannot read the emotions of the person across from me or on the other line 

I say the wrong things and he stiffens 

Across from me 

/// 

We talked about it sensibly of course 

He went surfing 

And I read a book 

He tried to discuss the speaker system inside the passenger seat of a car driving by and we walked past the taco stands and the tall jungle around them. 

I didn't really respond. 

/// 

I plop all of my things down into the sand 

My toenails are too long 

And my hair is stringy at my shoulders from the saltwater 

What are you reading 

The local asked me 

Tipping his finger toward my book 

I show him the cover 

He raises his eyebrow either to say 

" I'm not impressed" or 

"Never heard of it"

And even though he's a stranger I wish I was reading some book about wild birds or South Americas tide or something so he would say 

"Wow how intellectual of you, really" 

My butt is half showing because my suit has ridden up and it's awkward picking atbthat sort of thing while someone is staring at you

My cheeks are hurting again from small talk 

and I forget my sunscreen so I have to trample past him 

(Trample is how I feel, especially after the book incident) 

/// 

The fight was about surfing 

I was hot 

I wanted to get in the water and bob around a bit 

He abliged after suggesting a surf lesson from someone else and I said no 

My top came off 10 times in 10 minutes

Showing my bare breasts to the two young teens surfing next to me 

I was trying to paddle into the waves, communicate with max as he hollered instructions and also hold my freaking top on 

I caught one wave on my knees. It was nice. I hope max was thinking how sleek I looked up on the board holding my top on. 

Then I told him I had to go in

I was sick of showing my boobs off to anyone within ten feet 

So I turned the large 9 foot board toward the shore 

Max hollering about the rocks and the coral and such

A brief recollection crossed my mind of the taco lady from the cinnamon colored taco stand

Flailing her arms around while she deep fried corn tortillas

pointing toward the water talking about the young man who died last week on these rocks

My arms and legs started shaking as I paddled in, eyeing the sharp corners of the reef and rock under me

Adjusting my top so both of them were concealed hearing Max's voice get smaller and smaller

At the same time praying my life be spared 

(I forgot to thank him, thank you God for sparing me) 

I pulled in like a student driver who just flunked

The rocks were slippery and the board was heavy and blue like a forget me not 

Somehow the saltwater had pulled every ounce of snot down my lip from my nose and I had no arms to wipe it away 

It was right in front of the surfers tent that the tide decided to bring me in

They all stared at me 

The gazes glazed over 

Im sure they're either high or 

asking themselves if they should help me or if that would be even more embarrassing

This poor young new horrific surfing student I could hear them saying shaking their heads 

I stand tall and strong as if to say 

I'm not embarrassed 

I'm new 

I'm learning 

But the snot is everywhere now and I can't see because my hair is dangling in my eyes 

 

Not only that

It was their board I have and here I was dragging it on the sand trying to stabilize it with my hand while the cord wrapped around both feet tripping me 

It's freaking heavy

I almost tripped and fell 7 times before I took the cord off my ankle 

The Velcro hissing like fabric 

I felt dumb 

But surprisingly 

Upbeat. I didn't need their approval and i was beaming with joy that I still had all my limbs and that I had tried 

Max was frustrated. 

I didn't know if it was with me or because he was afraid I was going to kill myself 

I told him over a taco 

Up beat 

That he hadn't done a bad job teaching me 

When really i should have said, 

You did a good job 

Because it made him even more upset 

So I told him I needed a minute because he had seemed foul the last hour since we had crawled out, I said 

Wet and salty

But maybe it was me who was foul 

I asked myself 

But I felt upbeat 

He stated how he thought I'd probably never try again while I assured him I would and how happy I was that I did 

I was very upbeat, did I mention that part? 

But he was not. 

I scrounged around for reasons. 

I hadn't lost the board or the key yet. 

I felt I must have disappointed him or worse 

Made him afraid to ever try teaching me again, 

As he suggested,again,I take a lesson 

From 

Someone 

Else. 

We talked about it sensibly of course 

He went surfing

I read a book. 

__how to resolve an argument when it's not a big deal and your both just hungry really