..

I like to be safe 

So when we arrive to the water fall and the water is green and cold and max mentions cliff jumping I feel like I'm shrinking 

He cannot wait to try 

He tells me to photograph him and he strips down to his coral striped suit and flicks his hair off his forehead and goes for it 

With vigor

I feel like I might throw up if I didnthe jump like he does 

He watches someone plunge from even higher and I hear his whisper 

I have to do that 

And I wilt 

Steadying the camera

My pulse quickening 

Hoping I don't have to carry home a quadriplegic all the way through the airport into Michigan 

(Maybe I'm thinking of wheelchairs and quads because of this book I'm reading, I'm not really sure. It's a romance novel okay. Nothing medical or about wild birds or South American waves so don't seem to interested.) 

I like to be safe 

But I also like to make people happy 

So I jump in 

I waddle over to the rope swing

I take a dive 

I swim to stand under the waterfall while he takes a picture because he wants to take a picture but I do not cliff jump 

There are a lot of people watching after all

And I cannot let them all down 

I let the water dribble over me and tell max that I feel as if I do not cliff jump he will be let down

And that is not the reason I want to do it 

He looks me in the face and tells me to look at him closely 

He says I don't want you to ever do it for me

Ever 

Only if you wanted to 

And so I put a towel on and remark how very cold I am all of a sudden and very done with the water